Role Model

When I was getting ready for my job interview last week I went in my daughter's room to talk to her. What she said to me is something I never expected to hear.

"You know mom, you are my role model."

I was completely floored, speechless and all that. Those words are something you might expect from a 5 year old and maybe up to age 9 or so. But a 16 year old teenager? With all of the other influences in their lives, the TV and movies, music and celebrities. All that glamour influences kids, in both good ways and bad.

I didn't realize I had as much influence on her as that.

She has seen me struggle, trying to find an identity of my own in the midst of being a wife and stay at home mother. She watched me go back to college 3 years ago in my quest of who I wanted to be. She has seen all I've dealt with during the Army separations from my husband, both the year he was in Korea and the year he was in Iraq. When I decided to try to get a job in my chosen field, it wasn't because we needed the money (although it definitely wouldn't hurt), it was because I wanted to make something of myself, something that I wanted to accomplish for me, and not just as an extension of the family.

I guess I didn't really realize that she was watching the whole time and taking it all in.

Even if I don't get that job, which they said it might be several weeks before I am notified, it won't be the end of the world. I have earned my daughter's respect, I am secure in knowing that I am a positive influence in her life. If I can overcome the obstacles, and go out and buy dress shoes with heels and then learn how to walk in them, deal with the shyness and anxiety I've had all my life and get out there and try, then she knows she can do anything! I hope she also knows that I will always be there to pick her up when she stumbles and falls.

Everytime I think about it, I smile inside :)